March 5th, 2008

Unfortunately, I won't be in the Musical "Tommy".  I would have to miss the last 2 performances because I'll be on a plane to Thailand, but they did call to tell me they wanted me in the show.  But it causes staging problems when someone isn't there, so I'll just have to wait for another opportunity later this year.  I originally didn't have the conflict when I learned about the auditions, but I'm glad I went anyway, knowing there was a chance they'd say they couldn't work with me missing a couple shows.  It was a great experience to try out.

Anyway, everything is all set for Thailand - money, recommendation letters, flight schedules etc...  11 more weeks until the operation.  I'm really looking forward to getting it all done, but I know as the time draws near, I'll get a little panicky, because I know that recovering from surgery isn't much fun, and this will really change my life a bit.  But that's what it's all about - becoming the best me I can.  I now know 3 other people who will be there at the same time, and it's very comforting to know a bit about them ahead of time. 

Once I'm back, my chief complaint will be my voice :(  I can sound Ok at times, but I can't do it all the time, and at work or in conversation I fall back to more of a neutral sounding voice.  But when I'm talking to people on the phone, or talking to salespeople I tend to concentrate more (fear of raising suspicion in someone I don't know) I am more able to conjure up that nice feminine voice Leann has.  I haven't been 'sir'ed' on the phone for a couple weeks.  I still ponder voice surgery, but I'm giving myself until next year to master this.

Otherwise, I've been fine, happy and enjoying my life.  I hope you all are too.  We all have a body, mind, & talents.  Consider the lives we were born into and the events that happen around us that we have no control over, and it's easy to make excuses for why we aren't doing more with our lives and even why we can't be happy.  Some things in our lives, we did have control over and sometimes we regret the choices we made or didn't make, and then we feel we've dug a hole we can't get out of.  Or perhaps someone else did something to us that makes it impossible for us to reach our goals.  But everyday, we have another chance to rebuild our life for the better.  Life has never been fair or equal in how we're treated or the fortunes we receive.  I had read a poem a long time ago, that I occasionally search for on the Internet with out luck in finding it again.  But it had a line in there that went something like "...I wonder what another would have done with this life had they been born into this body..."  To me it's always been a reminder that no matter how bad or unfair things can get, perhaps we can always use the resources we do have to either make our lives better or make the world a better place.  I won't go back to wishing things had been different or that I made better choices before.  I have today to learn from yesterday's mistakes.  Tomorrow I'll try to make life better.