August 13th, 2007

I'm sorry I have not entered any blogs for a week, because so much has happened, and now I probably won't get it all down in my haste to get things caught up.  I'll try to recreate the week.

First off, I got to meet some of my daughter's friends, and even though I had no make up on, and wore guy shorts & a T shirt, she still introduced me as 'Leann' and everything went fine.  Although I guess I seem to some trouble passing as a guy now as it is.

Which brings me to the bathroom issue.  Yes, at first to me it seemed like a silly thing to be such an issue for everyone, but it surely is.  I had been using a restroom on another floor that is shared with another company.  I had the impression it didn't have as much traffic as the one our our main floor, so I opted to use that restroom, as I felt a little uncomfortable in front of all the coworkers I know.  However, as I do wear make up and a modest amount of jewelry, at least 2 people had visible reactions upon seeing me in the restroom.  Nothing was said to me, but I talked it over with my HR manager, and said I guess now I'd be more comfortable where at least everyone was aware.   About a day or so after that conversation, I learned that someone reported a possible security breach to the building security.  Seems he thought it suspicious for a woman to be in the men's room. 

Which brings me to the current hot topic for me.  It appears that I've reached a point where my feminine traits are not so subtle.  I also had my eye brows waxed and they look great!  I actually have a feminine feature on my face, and it makes a difference.  So that just adds to a look already causing confusion.  I did think that perhaps I should not have been quite so far in my changes, but if I weren't, I'd have defeated the whole point of easing everyone into the new look.

SO, at this point the BIG question is should I just go all out at work now, and go with the official name change and make that the same timing as the switch here at work, where everyone will now call me Leann, and vendors will now deal with her.  I've talked with a growing number of people about this, and it's becoming clear that it would be best to do just that.  I'm  still leaving room to push this date back, should something else occur that causes me to rethink, but August 20th is looking like the big date, for officially being Leann 24x7.

I had been thinking all along how slow this whole process is.  Of course, to everyone else it's blazing speed!  Now, I feel a bit rushed because I did not expect this.  So I'm frantically trying to 'get all my ducks in a row' so that I feel comfortable and prepared my self.  Most of this is minor and involves clothing, jewelry and making sure I've got all the feminine indicators I can working for me.  Hence wanting to get my ears pierced this week. 

The other issue that is causing me a bit of stress, is my chest.  I don't really care as much anymore for the forms I'd been using.  I think they are too big now, but perhaps that's because I push them out a little more with the real ones I'm developing.  There will be a point in the future where I won't need forms, and I'm just guessing that my actual size won't be as big as what the forms are, and I'd rather try and maintain a consistent look.  Anyway, I go bra shopping this week, and try to figure out a way to make what I have look good, and have a plan to reduce the amount of padding I'm using as time goes.

I'm  also scrambling to get my voice more realistic.  I just got a set of voice training disks to help me out too

While I feel rushed on the details, the actual presentation of Leann will be very welcome indeed for me.  I have been successfully presenting in public so far, and don't expect any problems at work.  This is a huge event transsexuals look forward to, when they finally can be full time.  Of course, there is all the physical changes still to come and I can't wait for those.

So one week and counting!!!!!!!