September 16th, 2007
It's been a 11 days since my laser treatment, and I only have a little blotchy-ness remaining. The bumps were gone after a week, but I seem to be Ok now. I'd like to think that it has done some good, and supposedly it did. I don't see as much hair on the sides now, so that's good.
I continue to feel much better about how things are going for me, and it helps that I do seems to be blending in better. This past week I was able to attend the Southern Comfort Conference, and I really enjoyed that. I found my self getting realy excited about it and kept bugging my friends with a count down to when I would be leaving.
My trip down was filled with the usual snafus that I'm sure many of you have experienced yourselves, but I'll spare you the details, and as it turned out, I ended up in my hotel room about an hour earlier than the original schedule called for. But a couple things to note about it. I flew out of the Akron/Canton airport, which is supposed to be an easy in/out airport. Perhaps it was because I chose the economy parking lot, but I still kind of expected a shuttle to swing around and get me or have a stop I could pick one up at. As it was, I ended up walking about 400 yard or so to the terminal. I saw no shuttle anywhere until I got to the doors. Oh well, in the past it wouldn't have bothered me, but my suitcase was a bit heavier than I wanted to lug that distance. I need to get some luggage with wheels!
The other issue that seemed noteworthy, was that when the plane started to pull away from the gate, I started worrying about the flight. Now I've always enjoyed flying and like looking out the window and think it's a really cool way to travel. But this is only the second flight I've even been on since 9/11 and I suddenly was worried about safety, and whether the plane itself was Ok. That feeling built up until I found I had to cup my hand over my mouth because I was hyperventilating. I was actually having a panic attack. I was sitting in between 2 men, and it did seem a little comforting. If I really started breaking down, I'm sure one of them would have been nice and reassured me that everything would be fine. As it was, the plane ended up sitting another 15 minutes, and I calmed down, and reminded myself how much I enjoyed flying and I was Ok.
Did I mention the suitcase was heavier than I wanted to be slugging around? It's evident I don't have the strength I used to, and with the panic attack, it would seem that my emotions can kick in anytime. But that's Ok. I'd rather be able to feel my emotions.
I'll sum up 'SoCo' in a separate blog, but I'll just mention one other incident that struck me as being something that either wouldn't have happened if I were a guy or at least, I wouldn't have been so scared. On Friday night, I developed hearburn that would just not go away. Finally after being kept up for hour with it, I decided I had to get some rolaids or I'd never get any rest. There was a 24 hour gas station with a small food mart inside across the street. As it was 5am, I was thinking any nuts would have gone home by then. There was another gas station next to the hotel as well (no 24 mart) but people were out getting gas and I could here a couple people talking loud. As soon as I was in view and crossing the street, a tall man started walking straight for me, crossing the street to intercept me. Well, I don't know what he had on his mind, but didn't want to find out either. I quickened my pace and made it to the door of the food mart before he was close. I spent a good 5 minutes inside getting the rolaids and looking around to see if there was some food that might help as well. After I made my purchase I went to exit the door, and there he was, just waiting for me about 15ft away. I did not open the door, but he did see me. I stopped for a moment, and decided I better just stay in and look around the store some more. I thought about telling the clerk there was a strange man outside, but didn't know what he'd do about it. I was debating how long he'd stay out there until he got bored. No way was I going out with him waiting. About that time, a guy came in to pay for his gas. He had a black T shirt that said 'POLICE' on the back, so I figured now was a good time to my my break, thinking I could always yell and he'd hear me. So I left by the opposite door where the policeman was, and headed back. The man who was waiting looked a little surprised that I went out the other door, but now he was a little farther away, and I hoped that gave me enough head start should I need to run. He started to approach me and was holding a cigarette and said 'Hey, do you have a light?' I said 'No, I don't smoke' and kept right on walking. He did not pursue me. Now, I don't believe that's all he wanted. He had to have been waiting close to 10 minutes for what? A light? There were other people at the other gas station coming and going and his odds of lighting his cigarette would have been better spent there. I don't know if I appeared to be a guy that he'd have behaved that way, but I'm sure I wouldn't have flinched much about it.
But I safe at home now, and I've got a full week of activities coming up, so time will go fast. INext week, I'll feel I can start focusing on my FFS and making sure I've got plans & packing. I didn't want to start that too soon, or I'd be going nuts counting the days. I'm excited about it, and at the same time, getting nervous. I'm sure you'll probably notice me rambling about it more as the time approaches.
