October 5th, 2007 (title - another inside joke with Sean - comes from his forums he reads)
I have lots to catch up on here. Unfortunately I'll probably be too brief with each topic, as I'm trying to catch up on the blogs, but maybe I won't be so long winded and boring this way.
First off, I joined the United Church of Christ at the Pilgrim Church in Cleveland's Tremont neighborhood. I'm sure I've mentioned this wonderful church before. I hope I can contribute as a member there. The church has really meant allot and has been a place where I can be myself, and try to grow as a person. I'm hoping to help in some way and would like to work with the high school youth group.
I'm also going through training to be a tutor in an adult education program designed to help people earn their GED. I'm only doing it on Monday evenings, so I haven't finished the training yet, but I should be done before I leave for San Francisco. When I return I should be able to start with students. It's a place where no one knows I'm trans - well I've not said anything to them, and as always I suspect people figure that out on their own after talking to me for a few minutes. I've still been treated well by them, and if they do notice, they don't seem to care. I told them I have surgery coming up but I didn't say what for. I guess I'll tell them that I finally decided to correct the male features on my face. :)
So I finally got to change my earrings after 6 weeks, which is the time period they say to wait before you mess with it. Ok, first of all, it took me a few occasions to even get the first pair off! Not as easy as it always looked, as they don't just slide off when you squeeze the back. Then, try to put in another pair!! It's hard to find the hole, and then once I do, it doesn't want to go through. It takes me a few tries to succeed. By 'tries' I mean I'll try at home and give up, get to work, fail again, wait an hour, and give it another shot. I'm told it gets easier. :(
When I was at the Brew Kettle last week, I sat at the bar instead of a table. When I first started going every week, I sat at the bar. Later, when other people would join me on other occasions, I'd sit at a table. So it's been some time since I've sat at the bar. So now that I'm presenting as Leann, I was wondering how the bar tender would react. I can't tell if he recognized me or not, but assuming he noticed I thought his way of addressing me was pretty good when he took my order. Instead of saying the usual, what can I get for you 'sir' or 'ma'am', it was, 'what can I get for you my friend'. I liked that - he may not know what my name is or what my situation is, but as a regular patron, the designation of 'friend' seems appropriate. :)
Today I had to go to the dentist, a guy I played football with in High School. Normally, I keep up on gossip & stuff with him whenever I'm in there. Well, he's not seen me as Leann yet, though he noticed I was growing my hair long. Since I had to have some work done, I thought I'd better give him a heads up. I called him and told him I was transitioning, but as I suspected, he already knew through the grapevine. But he was also fine with it. So the chit chat at this visit was about electrolysis as his wife is also have some of that done. We also talked about whatever topics popped up, so it was basically like any other visit. Another positive experience and it just re-enforces that friendships don't have to change just because someone presents as a different gender. :)
Another thing I've noticed lately, is that emotions can jump out at me without warning. So sometimes I get all worked up about whatever is going on, and cry or slam the phone or other brief outburst. I guess I'm used to being non emotional, so when things happen good or bad, I get a little overwhelmed. But that's a good thing - I'd rather go through life having reactions to things and being able to feel emotionally. When people drink they can become more emotional and react quicker with their feelings. I've always drank plenty and now I'm wondering if that may have been in part for a desire to 'feel' more of my life. I'm now thinking that perhaps I can pass on a few drinks, as maybe I don't feel the need for them anymore. I've already cut down on drinking anyway, but considering my new body weight and add to that the hormones I'm on, alcohol probably is working differently on my body. I do notice that I can feel a bit worse from having too much. I'm thinking if I already can have my emotions, I don't need to find more in a bottle. Don't get me wrong, I'm not giving up drinking as I enjoy a good beer, wine or mixed drink, but I don't need one every day and 2 drinks might be enough on any occasion. :)
